Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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