DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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