what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize