i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
