Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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