And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
