i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
