Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
