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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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• (209): View more from California

  His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.

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• (818): View more from California

  So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

  (323): View more from California

  Gross

  (818): View more from California

  AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner

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• (716): View more from New York

  They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  What happened to you last night?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  SO. MANY. SHOTS.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?

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• (353): View more from

  Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?

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