Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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