Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We need to get me chipped asap
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
