great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
