You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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