Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
