Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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