I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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