tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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