Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
