Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
