Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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