The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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