Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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