YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
