All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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