I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
