he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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