Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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