Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
