she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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