i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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