can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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