grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm too high and old for this...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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