How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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