So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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