you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
