Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize