i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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