Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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