Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
