Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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