At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize