Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
