HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
