Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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