Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
