Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
