I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
