You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
