..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
