If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
