i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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