She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
