what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
