So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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