if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize