Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
