"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
